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Why is my loved one resisting home care: 3 Tips

If you started to notice that your elderly loved one has started to struggle with everyday tasks around their home, then home care is a topic you may have brought up with them. While some older adults may welcome the idea of having a little extra help with their daily tasks, others may resist the idea. If your loved one has always been very self-reliant and independent, admitting that they need help can be extremely difficult.

When your loved one is resisting home care, it is important to empathize with them and engage in conversations that may help make things a little easier for them. Here are some reasons why your loved one might resist the idea of professional home care.

1. I would rather get care from family members.


If you are considering home care for your loved one, the chances are that you have already been fulfilling the role of a family caregiver for some time. It is understandable that your loved one has grown comfortable with this arrangement and does not want things to change.

If this is the case, try talking to your loved one about how this is starting to affect your mental health or professional life. Assure them that getting a professional caregiver does not mean you are abandoning them. Rather, it will give you more time to enjoy each other’s company without having to worry about personal care needs all the time.

Most parents want what is best for their kids, and helping them understand what you are going through as a family caregiver may make them more accepting of the idea of having a professional take over some of that responsibility.

2. I don’t want to spend the money.


If your family member is careful with spending and when it comes to money, paying for a home care worker may seem like an unnecessary expense to them. They may be thinking that they would rather save the money for an inheritance or be worried that they will run out of their savings.

If this is the case, you can explain to your loved one that the best gift that they can give you is to stay as well as possible for as long as possible and hiring a home care worker can help with that. You can also invite them to meet with a financial planner who can assess their assets, pension, insurance, and other assets to determine how affordable a home care worker would actually be.

3. I don’t want to lose my independence.


The idea of having a stranger in your home – especially if it is to help you with very personal things like dressing and bathing – can feel very intrusive. Your loved one may see this as another sign that they are losing their independence.

If this is the reason your loved one is resisting home care, you can discuss how home care can actually increase their independence. You can talk with them about how having a caregiver would help to be able to confidently and safely go on errands and outings because they will have someone with them; or that they will feel more comfortable inviting friends over to their home because the house will be tidy, and they will be clean and dressed.

Accepting home care may be difficult for your loved one, and it is important to understand that. But by having these crucial conversations with your loved one early, making compromises, and taking small incremental steps, you can help to make the process easier.

Contact VERA Home Care today


If you are exploring the idea of home care for your loved one, we are here to help.

Contact us today to learn more!

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